Overwhelmed

So this is what I arrived home to yesterday. And I have to be honest, I am completely freaking out. As someone who is deathly afraid of needles, this is not a happy picture. It is horrific. All those boxes house needles. And that little red box at the top of the picture is a Sharps container. My very own Sharps container! I don't even know how to begin this process. And they have to be given consistently at the same time, which means I get to do this at work between patients or wake up at 4:30 each morning and do it to myself. And then I have to take the pills...some with food, some 1 hour before food, some 2-3 hours after food. How am I supposed to keep all this straight and work for a living?? Eek for the needles. God is really just shoving me right out of my comfort zone.

These past few days have been more difficult that I expected. And in addition to getting the drugs in and spending hours on the phone with UHC, I am officially beginning my journey into stretchy pants for work tomorrow after having to paperclip together my pants today. Sigh. I think this is the start of officially losing it. With lots more to go. Could use some prayer for my spirit in the upcoming weeks. Because as the excitement is wearing down and reality of what I am about to do and go through sets in, I just want to quit. And cry. And I keep thinking how unfair all this is, and it's like I'm right back where I was a few months ago with my heart.