Sunday, September 22, 2013

Almost there

So I have been super slack with my blogging. I can't count how many times I've started a post while the boys were sleeping at the hospital only to have one of them spit up, cry, brady, etc and never get back to it. So much has happened in the past 3 weeks since I last wrote. To sum it up:
Both boys started taking full bottles the first week of September and we were scheduled to come home that second week. Dean made it, coming home on the 13th. Warren developed severe reflux and had multiple bradys (dips in his heart rate) which grew longer and required more stimulation. And so his discharge date got pushed back again and again. We are so thankful for a great team of doctors who got him on thicker feedings and we are so excited to be coming home tomorrow!  

Life at home with Dean has been easier than I expected. If I wasn't working to get him breast feeding and still pumping 6 hours a day, it would be a breeze. He's such a sweet boy!  Just generally happy and calm, mostly sleeping well, takes his bottles great. When we're both home, I can cook, we can go for walks, sit out on the porch. It's great!  For that 1.5 hours between feedings....

The only downside has been traveling to the hospital each day to visit Warren. I hate them not being together. And when we said bye to Warren the day we brought Dean home, it just felt like I was abandoning him. We got there and I just held him and cried for the little boy we were leaving behind. Thankfully, he had no idea. None whatsoever. Completely oblivious to the fact that brother was gone. And we've realized that we actually got more quality time with Warren since we had nothing to do but hold him while at the hospital (and pump of course!). But at home, we were getting stuff ready and cleaned and cooking and everything else. And Dean, good boy that he is, just hangs out in his swing or in our carriers. 

I am terrified at having them both home. Having twins is hard. Having a preemie is hard. Having twin preemies?  Eek. The feeding schedule, trying to get them to both learn nursing while countering nipple confusion, dealing with Warrens reflux after eating, and still carving out 6 hours a day to continue pumping until they can nurse...If I've done the math right there will be about an hour between feedings. All day and all night. Not at all complaining, just anticipating the tired. It's a good problem to have. Someone remind me of that in another week...

So Warren and I are hanging out together for the last time in the hospital as we have our sleepover in Parent's Place. After spending every day in the hospital since May, tomorrow will be the last time I drive to Presby for what will hopefully be a long time! Yay for coming home!  So excited. But as I look forward to having the boys home, I can't help but ache for little Reagan as our family is not truly all home. Not yet, but one day. Still looking forward to that sweet reunion in heaven when our boys can meet their big sister!