Stabilizing...or not...or maybe?

So I started a blog post yesterday about how things were stabilizing and we were in a rhythm. Doctors said maybe I could go home at the end of the week. Well, some of them anyway. Too many doctors and they all say different things. Some were still talking like I might be here for a while,but the specialist seemed optimistic at I would be able to go home. And then last night, contractions picked back up enough for the on call doctor to put me back on my strong meds. So, 2-3 days of that (depending on which doctor I'm talking with at the time) and then we try for several days of stability after that. Then we discuss going home. So, deleted yesterday's post and we're starting over today.

I don't think bedrest at the hospital is really much different than at home, don't think I'm really much more bored here. I do miss having sitting privileges all the time as I only get 30 min per day here, but otherwise it is the same as my early bedrest days. And it give Andrew tremendous peace of mind for me to be under the watchful eye of the docs any only about 1 mile away from him during work. And for the most part, I feel okay, especially on his medication. Which makes me feel like I don't actually need to be in here...until times like last night. 

It's interesting, yesterday I spent some time praying for clarity. If they gave me the option to go home, should we? One doctor who said from the beginning I would need to stay said if we went home I'd just be back here in a few days. And that the stress of being home could make things worse. And then yesterday, it seemed like maybe it would be alright to go home. I had no idea who to listen to or who to trust to give me the best medical opinion. So we prayed for clarity, that we would know what decision to make and when to go home if at all. And God answered that prayer by giving me a night like last night. He never really answers things the way I would expect or like (we were hoping my cervix would miraculously get longer and contractions would stop). But that is not the road we are asked to travel at this point. And I am at peace with that. Still disappointed to lose out on all the fun things we had planned for last weekend and the coming weeks, but really that is nothing when I get to hold my precious baby boys. 

I have now reached the rate of exponential growth. I'd consider it uncomfortably exciting. I think I grow visually each day. Baby B has now completely overtaken my stomach and was weighing in at 1.6 pounds. Baby A is more on track with what they consider normal at 1.1. So I'm up to almost 3 pounds of baby!