Yesterday was an emotional day. Everything started normally, but at some point around lunch time I started bleeding. So many emotions go through your mind when you see that. Terror, grief, hope, trust, fear, heartbreak. I definitely cycled through all of those as I waited to get in to see the doctor. We headed up to REACH and it was confirmed that we lost one of the babies. Not necessarily at the exact moment I was bleeding, but at some point in the last week. It is going to be so hard to stop saying "the babies" when we talk to each other, talk about our future, and pray for them. There is no longer a "them." No more double strollers, double cribs, boy/girl rooms, cute matching clothes. Breaks my heart a little bit.
BUT...we still have one baby. We got to see our beautiful (well, blob-shaped but one day beautiful) little baby on the ultrasound. We got to watch him on the screen, watch his little heartbeat flicker. And we got to hear the wonderful sound of his little tiny heartbeat! 124 beat per minute...just perfect. The doctor said everything looked great - that he saw no reason why anything would happen to the remaining baby.
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made" Psalm 139:14
Meghan,
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading your updates and feel that I have been on a roller coaster with you. I grieve with you for the loss of one baby but rejoice with you in the safety of the other.
My husband and I caught part of the movie "Facing the Giants" the other day while he was scrolling through channels. One scene particularly captured my heart when the wife visits her doctor to see if she is pregnant after years of trying and praying for a baby. She is told yet again that the test is negative. Although she is devastated by the news, she stands by her car and prays, "I will still love you, Lord!" Just as she is driving away, a nurse runs to the car to tell her that her test became confused with someone else's results and that she IS pregnant.
I couldn't help but think of you during that scene of the movie! Keep trusting the Lord to bring this pregnancy to fruition until you hold that sweet bundle of joy in your arms!
God bless,
Cindy Robinson