October 15

Today is national Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.  Two years ago, it was simply October 15.  I never knew there was such a day to remember babies gone too soon.  I would have thought most people wouldn't either.  But here's the thing, 1 in 4 pregnancies don't make it.  ONE in FOUR.  That is such a huge number that I think most of us have been touched in some way or another by loss.  Often these are early miscarriages, which for some reason most people don't talk about.  Maybe it's easier to hide the pain?  Maybe it's awkward to mention the miscarriage before you've told anyone about the pregnancy.  Our whole world knew we were doing IVF beforehand and I had countless people messaging me to find out if we were pregnant before we even knew ourselves so I never got to keep pregnancy a secret.  (Though I realize we are not at all the norm!)  For all our friends who have gone through miscarriage, I am so sorry.  I'm sorry you lost a child too.  I'm heartbroken you did not get to fulfill the dreams you had for your child from the moment you learned of his/her existence.  And I'm sorry you did not get an opportunity to hold them.  I would have once thought that would have been easier, to lose a child earlier in the pregnancy.  I now know that it is just different.

  Today, on October 15, we remember Reagan and our time with her, those precious hours we got to spend holding her.  We are honoring her memory today by launching Reagan's Garden to help provide support to other families who have experienced similar loss.  We'll be participating in the balloon release tonight, along with thousands of others across the country.  What a beautiful way to remember those we have lost.  We each will get a purple balloon and let it fly.  But this year, we'll also release a blue balloon for Reagan's twin and her cousin, who are playing in heaven with her now.  Their lives were so incredibly brief, but no less significant.  They don't get a birthday to celebrate.  We have no memories to recall.  But today, we honor them too.

The national balloon release occurs at 7PM, no matter your time zone.  This helps to create a continuous wave of balloons released across the country.  However, because it's nearly dark here at that time and our boys are typically in bed, we'll be releasing at 6PM.  We'd love for any and all to join us!  If you do, please send me and email or post the picture to Reagan's Garden FB page.  I'd love to put a collection together!