Week 13: tired

So, let me start by admitting that I neither enjoy writing nor have a talent for it.  I started this blog as a way for me to express my frustrations and anguish over my infertility issues, to be reminded of what God is doing through the process and see his faithfulness, and to share my joy with others who may be struggling in a similar (or completely different) situation.  I pray that these posts will at times be encouraging and at other times allow for you to pray for us as we struggle.  That being said, when I have weeks like I've had for the past 2 weeks...I don't quite know what to write because I don't know what I'm even feeling.  So thanks so much for all of you who have contacted me concerned about baby Savant...we are both doing just fine.  I just have every emotion possible running through by heart and mind over these past 2 weeks and don't even know where to begin.

So let's start with the size update.  Our baby is now the size of a peach!  She is getting to be so big.  At around 3 inches long, I can finally start saying some of this belly might actually be baby.  I've had 3 doctor appointments since my scare 2 weeks ago and everything is right on track.  Still no answers for that terrifying night, and still having continued pain and intermittent bleeding, but nothing at all like before.  My OB says maybe this is just my "normal."  Not sure why my normal needs to be so stressful, but there it is.  On the positive side, I get to see our little one on a semi regular basis.  And she is growing!  On Friday, I was able to see her tiny, perfect little spine.  And now she is actually looking like a baby and less like an alien or blob. Look at that perfect little nose!

Right now I am so grateful she is doing well and growing right on track.  I still feel a little overcome by all the pregnancy symptoms (really makes me wonder just how stupid those women have to be who are on the "I didn't know I was Pregnant series...) with continued nausea, fatigue, heartburn, etc.  I feel like I lose a little of the joy just with feeling so crappy all the time.  I had a few days where I thought things were turning around and I lived life like a regular person before it all hit me again.  So I wait for the "honeymoon" period to start now that I am safely in the 2nd trimester.  Any day now...