Bitter

So I am still excited about all that is to come and know that it really is against all medical odds we are where we are right now in the process. That being said, the frustration of the bills and the pharmaceutical companies who are exploiting emotional couples is a little overwhelming. We went to pick up a single medication - one shot - and I was told it was not covered by my insurance company. No problem, cause we are not expecitn any of this to be be covered by the insurance companies as they will get out of paying anything if possible. So no big shock there. What was a big shock was the price. $900!! Yes, that's right...$900 for a single injection, I think it was 3 ml, that I'm sure cost maybe 30 bucks to produce. I about freaked out! And the doctor confirmed today that there is, in fact, no generic or other drug which will help to dry up my endo. And the sighs just keep on coming.

So today, while frustrated after talking to the doctor and contacting the pharmacy who will be shipping me $5000 worth of fertility drugs, I got on facebook. I don't usually spend a lot of time on facebook, but I was just needing some de-stressing time. And I hate to admit it, but I had to unfriend some of my pregnant friends. How pathetic am I? Not the ones I am really close with, not the ones I'm attending baby showers for, and not the ones who had to work at getting pregnant. But those acquaintances who have been married for a short time and "are so excited to announce it's a boy" BLEH! I couldn't take it. So, I am officially defriended from about 3-5 women. But I feel a little better now...

So minus my bitterness towards these women who get knocked up on month #1, I am doing better this week. Fewer emotional breakdowns and an overall peace that we are doing what is right. I questioned us taking control and finding peace in the medical treatment, but I really do feel as though God has orchestrated everything to line up perfectly, to come together at this exact time. And so we continue moving forward unless there is a reason to stop. And I pray one day God will heal my heart and this bitterness so I do not hate all pregnant women...that has to subside at some point, right?