Monday, April 21, 2014


Easter is one of those holidays I didn't think about too much until right before it arrived.  It was never heavily celebrated in our household.  Good Friday service, Easter Sunday service, lunch...and I just went on with my life.  I know that sounds terrible.  I knew the significance of Easter, knew the sacrifice Jesus made for me, knew that was the one and only reason I would go to heaven...but Monday was just another day.  Really, the Saturday in between was just another day as well.

Having children in heaven makes Easter that much more real to me.  I understand better the sacrifice God made by sending His Son to die, knowing the pain He would endure, and allowing it to happen to save a bunch of sinners who deserve nothing.  I would never intentionally allow my children to hurt.  Sleep training last night, listening to Warren's screams, I sat at the kitchen table and just cried.  And I knew he wasn't even in physical pain.  So, the sacrifice for God to send Jesus to rescue me takes on a whole new meaning.  In the past 2 years I have said goodbye to two children and watched two more fight for their lives.  Both processes are incredibly painful.  And yet, God chose to do it.  For me.  Wow.

Easter signifies Christ's triumph over death.  "Death has been swallowed up in victory."  Because of that, because of Christ's selfless sacrifice, I can rest assured that I will be reunited with Reagan.  My sweet daughter is laughing and playing and enjoying her Creator because of Easter.  Praise the Lord!  And, again I reflect on what a celebration Easter must be in Heaven.  Oh, how I can't wait to know!

I still love looking at Reagan's painting, seeing how my mom created her to be so beautiful and happy, capturing everything I ever imagined for her in a single moment.  Just beautiful.  One of my fellow Hope Mommies shared this with me, and I love it even more as I think about Easter.  "They say that time in heaven is compared to a blink of an eye for us on this earth, sometimes, it helps me to think of my daughter running on ahead of me through a beautiful field of wildflowers and butterflies. I imagine her so utterly happy and completely caught up in what she is doing, that by the time she turns around to see if I'm behind her...I will be"

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