Let's just say a week in the hospital is just too long. I was finally stable enough to come home Monday night. How wonderful it is to sleep in my own bed, not be interrupted all night long, and be completely needle free.
But with being home is a continued sense of worry and dread. Like I am just sitting around waiting to lose these babies. The clot is measuring the size of a grapefruit, the babies the size of grapes. Not good. And at our appointment today, the clot has actually grown in size. This explains why I am looking so hugely pregnant this early though. In addition to 2 babies, a pregnancy only months after things got stretched out with Reagan, I now have an extra grapefruit in there trying to push my babies off the wall.
I am a terrible pregnant person. I have to keep reminding myself that people get pregnant without complications and delivery healthy babies 9 months later all the time. Not sure why I don't get to be one of those women though...
But God continues to carry us through. We got to see the little ones moving around today, scratching their faces or waving at us. And they continue to grow, perfectly measuring 9 weeks 5 days. It is just so hard to get attached again to know the odds are still not in our favor. To know the wrong move could cause the clot to shift and push the babies out. Who would have though a blood clot could be so powerful in the uterus? I just have to keep reminding myself that God is more powerful and He is in control. Because clearly I am not.