Saturday, June 9, 2012

Let the countdown begin...

2 weeks!  2 more weeks!  I'm not even sure what emotions are running through my system anymore - faith, hope, excitement, terror, fear, anxiety - just to name a few.  We are so excited that with all the medical complications God has brought us here and carried us through this process so far.  And we are so hopeful for what tomorrow holds (or what 2 weeks from now holds) that you can't really even begin to express it.  Yet there is always a fear of failure, of loss, and of being brokenhearted again.  I'm trying so hard to focus on only the first half of those emotions as the docs have told me I am not allowed to be stressed.  Is that really even possible??

1 Corinthians 12:9 (Thanks Sarah, for the encouragement): But He said to my, "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.   As life is going along so easily, verses like this one are hard to understand.  Or easy to look at and say "why sure, that sounds nice." Yet how hard it is to have a "thorn in the flesh" that I can't control the way I want to.  How hard it is to truly rely on God and His grace. Yet it is in our weakness that Christ's power is revealed.  And so we continue to pray, not only for our children and potential pregnancy, but that through all of this God would continue to reveal himself.  And that if we do get the answer to our prayers and have a child (or 2....or 14) that we would not lose focus and forget where we have come from.

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