Thursday, April 19, 2012

Menopause Week 2: Hot flashes!

So far I'd like to think I'm doing fairly well. Aside from wanting to run over the slow people on the road and bawling for a good hour during Private Practice, my main symptom has been the hot flashes. Andrew would probably say I'm more testy and short tempered, but compared to what I expected this is not so bad. Don't get me wrong, hot flashes are intense. But I've done pretty good throughout the day with maybe 10ish through the work day. Night...that's a complete different story. I've taken to stealing Andrew's side of the bed on those mornings he gets up before me to escape my sweaty sheets. Nastiness.

My peace with waiting has been more intermittent these past few days. I'm not entirely sure why, but God has placed numerous patient's in my life these last 2 weeks who are randomly telling me of their infertility issues and failed attempts at treatment. Not exactly the encouragement I was looking for. I'm not even sure why these conversations are starting and feel as though I am at a loss as to how to respond. I think Andrew and I both thought this would be a sure thing, that out of this whole process we would be guaranteed a child. As of a week ago, everyone I know on a personal level has experienced success. And now, it's more like 50/50. And those odds are scary. And we're right back around to that trust issue.

And so each night we pray for the safety and health of our freezer babies, which feels a little surreal, and that the menopause would continue to dry up all the endometriosis. And we wait. Two weeks down, 7 to go. We are making progress and slowing moving forward!

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