6 months

I cannot believe my little boys are now 6 months old!  That sounds so incredibly old!!  Halfway through their first year of life.  While part of me is excited that they will begin to interact more and be less dependent on me, part of me is screaming for them to stay little.  I only get 18 years with them...and one of those is already half way gone!  It can't be!!  The days just fly right by.  Sometimes the minutes and hours drag on, but the days really do go quickly.  It has been 6 months since I had them kicking away inside of me...  And it's true what they say, only 6 months later and I hardly remember the contractions, bed rest, and pain of pregnancy.  Six full weeks of labor, and I found myself thinking "it wasn't that bad."  Right....

I am learning these days that the books are not written for preemie moms.  Because my boys, while 6 months old, act nothing like 6 month olds.  They don't act like their adjusted 3 months either.  We are sleeping up to 9 hours at night, yet needing food every 2.5-3 hours during the day.  Dean started rolling over nearly 3 months ago, Warren still sometimes struggles to lift his head up off the ground.  How does one parent that, raise kids so different from each other both emotionally and physically?  These last few days have been such a struggle for me as Dean started teething (aughhh!!!!) and Warren is angry we changed his schedule by traveling.  I am finding breastfeeding hopeless and frustrated I am back to waking at night to pump because these boys have decided they don't want to eat anymore.  Add to that constant crying from both of them...I think Andrew is regretting taking this much time off right now!

BUT, despite the stresses of this past week and the fact that I feel as though I might lose my mind at times, I continue to be amazed with where we are.  God has blessed us immeasurably.  I have two adorable boys who, when they choose to be happy, can light up my day.  They can scream constantly for a full hour and then flash a big toothless grin, and all is forgiven.  I love hearing their baby coos, laughs, and noises as they "talk" to me.  They've now been home for over 3 months, longer than they were in the NICU.  And I cannot imagine life without them.  They are living proof of God's faithfulness as we were told countless times they wouldn't make it.  And not only did they survive, but they are thriving, active, amazing little boys!

Happy half birthday, Warren & Dean.  We love you so much!!