Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mother's Day

Traditionally, Mother's Day is one of the hard ones.  When you wake up in the morning and just want to crawl back under the covers and not even get up.  Today was no different.  I visited with my mom this weekend, which was great - good to see family again.  And I have 2 fantastic, supportive mothers whom I love dearly and am so thankful for.  Unfortunately, that didn't make the day any easier.

We hid out this morning from church - a constant reminder of all women who have healthy babies and are rewarded with flowers for their fertility.  Nope, not going through that again.  So my very sweet husband prepared a short message for us so I could avoid the opportunity of publicly turning into a crazy person.  And he let me be grumpy the first half of our way home, and then bought me a 32 oz slushy.  Adding even more bulge to my ever increasing middle.  Sigh.  So today I am having a little pity party for myself and somewhat mourning all the moments that could have been with our children if they had come in our time.  And tomorrow I am kicking myself out of the slump and starting over positive if the hormones will let me.  Still amazed at just how much a few hormones can affect you...

I had a few people somewhat wish me happy Mother's Day.  And looking at this year compared with last year, we have some hope.  But Andrew told me today he decided not to get me any sort of card so I wouldn't get as attached to the embryo, if that's possible.  And that is our constant reminder.  We have the possibility of healthy babies, but no guarantees.  Not that there is a guarantee once you are actually pregnant, but we know so many who have told us of multiple IVF cycles without actually getting pregnant or carrying a child to term.  And so while I am hoping and praying this is all successful in the end, I can't yet consider myself to be a "mother" in any sense of the word.  But there is hope for next year...

No comments:

Post a Comment